Tuesday, January 31, 2006

Praise the Lord once again for His mercy last forever!!!!

Okay, morning went to the hospital as plan to have my blood check, was praying hard that the results will turn out fine so that i might be able to be discharged by today itself. And guess what, God did answer my prayer ha ha!!!

The doctor gave the green light for me to go home (not for good though, I still have some treatment, but this is joyous enough, keke), and hearing that, my parents quickly pack my stuff and wanted to leave immediately (who wouldn't), but suddenly remembered about all the other stuff like bills, medicines while at home and taking out the pipe from my right hand, which took quite some time to settle, but who cares! I am finally discharged!!! After my parents gave angpows to the nurses and staff who took care me, i was adios! Finally back home again, wait i was home in the morning wasn't I?? But this time i could have more "freedom" in what i do as the white cell count is at a much safer level and with the pipe at my right hand removed my movement isn't so restricted anymore.

Really thank God for His wonderful grace and mercy that allowed my body to be able to recover by today (Tuesday) having a decent report in my complete blood count, otherwise i really gotta stay perhaps another few more days before I could actually be discharged, which i don't really want to.

Nevertheless. still need everyone's prayer that my body might be able to sustain well, not getting sick (and my family not getting sick too) or any other complications as I am not near the reach of any nurses or doctors any more, and thank God for never forgetting me in my times of trouble, for always being there in my dire needs and His endless grace and mercy that He has given to me.

Now, just gotta flex my right hand... the pipe has really made it so stiff that i can hardly bend it anymore... ouch!

THe Black Hole

Hmm, i don't know why, but somehow i just can't stop feeling hungry for the past few days, i know i ate quite a huge amount for all the 3 meals, but somehow i am still hungry. It's like there's a black hole in my stomach, where are all the food going to?

While eating breakfast i am looking forward for lunch, and when lunch comes i am looking forward towards dinner, and when dinner comes i look forward to eating breakfast the next day... Man, i am just hungry all the time, ha-ha.

Perhaps it's the food my parents cook that are too delicious or perhaps it just my body trying to regain the nutrition i have loss, but either way, i thank God for this appetite i could have once again, it is really good to enjoy wonderful food.

Now, how should i keep my body in shape?

Sunday, January 29, 2006

Uh oh


Was playing my electric guitar using my rather stiff right hand, thank God that i can still manage to strum some songs and remember the basic chords of the guitar, allowing me to enjoy the music from a musical instrument that was created by God oh so wonderfully (guitar rox man i tell ya) and able to worship God by doing some short singspiration at home as i still can't go to church.

Well, all was going fine until i was like, okay, time to stop playing and put the guitar down and "BANG!!!!" the guitar hit the ceiling fan and part of the top of my guitar chipped off. Don't ask me how that happened, my hands kinda can't coordinate well right now because of the pipe in my right hand. So I was like, uh oh, not again !!!!(my acoustic guitar fell last time and the whole top part of the guitar got destroyed) Of course i was like kinda heart broken, it was still new ya know, but after checking it i realise only a small portioned of it was chipped off, and i could still strum and play it, not like anything is errr broken? It still plays the same tune, and i think that is all that matters.

That reminds me that God looks into our hearts and our character, not our material possessions, our fame or anything that we could see on this earth which will fade away someday. We may not be perfect and we stumble and fall countless times, but as long as our heart is for God and to live in Christ and for Him, I think we will be playing the tune God wants us to play.

Saturday, January 28, 2006

Praise the Lord!!!

Woo-hoo, finally, back home once again, home sweet home, really, there's nothing better than being at home.

Well, this is the second time i manage to have a "home leave" from the hospital, the last one was to prevent me from being cranky after staying in the hospital bed for too long (that's what the doctor said not me) and this time because of Chinese New Year. Really thank God for letting my blood count (both white and red) to be at a certain "safe" level to be allowed out till Tuesday, where i gotta get admitted once again to check my blood count once more.

And this is where i need ure prayers once again, if all goes well, i may get discharge from the hospital on Tuesday itself and i may be let loose for a few weeks or err more than my fingers than count at the least, haha. Depending on God's grace and mercy once again, but in all circumstances still gotta trust in Him ya. The main condition of the release? My white blood cell count must be at the least 4 percent (normal human white blood cell level? i think, gotta ask Zhi Yong about this), which I am at 3 percent plus minus right now. But there could still be other factors that could stop me from being discharged so do pray for me, keke, oh yea, and pray that i won't get sick at my own home too, otherwise it will get really troublesome, gotta be send back to the hospital before Tuesday then, ugh...

But still, as of now, all glory and praise be to God for allowing me to come home and have a nice rest, sleeping on my own bed once again, and having a much spacious place to move about haha. (gotta get my own stuff this time though, no more nurses, but that's good, i need to exercise abit, getting kinda fat i think)

P/s: I am still isolated for now even at home, can't take the risk of getting infected yet till the Tuesday mentioned  (31/1), so if anyone wants to visit it's gotta be after that tuesday, when i should be like err normal i can say if it's by God's grace, haha.

Lucky stars

"Eh, good luck in ure exams man!!!" That's what i normally hear before entering the exam halls, friends cheering and encouraging each other by giving luck. Or perhaps another fine example would be the fact that you pick up ten ringgit from the floor, nearly missed dropping on to a puddle of mud, ter-click your mouse during a game of DotA and manage to kill some stealth hero somewhere in the map and the list goes on and on.

Well, not that I don't believe there is such thing as luck, but i think luck should be called ~God's grace~ for us Christians, in my opinion, for evey good thing comes from God anyway, and since He knows everything and He controls everything, how can luck be a factor that could affect our lives then? So, point is, every lucky thing that happen in our lives, i think it's by God's grace that we manage to have it happen to us.

Man, don't know why, but whenever i play DotA nowadays, i just can't seem to slay any heroes. Not that i don't want to, (okay i am very noobish in dota now, i admit!!!) but somehow i always get disconnected when i am going to slay some hero (double-kill almost heard from a distance) or when i am going to get killed by some other player (which is good, free disconnection and escape humiliation, buahaha). But still, it is frustrating to get disconnected so often( like every 3 games or so). Not only that, while typing something so long on the net and poof it's gone because of the disconnection or trying to talk to someone on msn and *clickz* u have been disconnected, it is frustrating man, what's wrong with the hospital wireless connection which was so good for the first few, err days?  

Bad luck? Nah, no way, maybe God just wants me to play less DotA and spend less time on the internet i must say, ha-ha.

Friday, January 27, 2006

Ah, the little things in life…

We take many things for granted, or maybe I take many things for granted. When I am healthy I kinda only look at the big things, and never take time to enjoy the very basic things that God has given us so graciously. Being able to walk freely, eat normally, and sleep soundly, I never knew it was such a blessing.

Well, just want to say that for the past 2 days and maybe the coming week I may not need to be on any drips again. Alright!!! No more 6 hours long somehow diluted chemo drips and transfusions, giving me the freedom to be able to move about freely; not feel bounded to the bed anymore and not having to make me think twice whether to go to the toilet or not as it is really restricting having something on your hand like half a day.

Thank God for this time of relaxation. Having the chemo drips for 2 weeks straight really is tiring somehow, and not being able to move about is tiring too (and I thought exercising was tiring).

And it is then I realize how much joy and blessing we have from God just to be able to live our life another day being able to move, breath, eat and sleep well.

~Oh, a side note, if all goes well, most probably I may go home for Chinese new year for a day or two, so do pray for me ya!

Wednesday, January 25, 2006

Beautiful day...

Alritey then, guess i will start being serious in writing some stuff down now, just to keep some people up to date and to know that i am still doing fine here according to God's grace, haha.

Just finished my 4th chemo and got my LP jab yesterday, became really really tired and man, gotta remind myself not to eat too much after each chemo, my stomach really can't digest the food well, make me lost my appetide and unable to go to sleep properly because of my grumbling stomach and the feeling of burping (or vomitting) every now and then.

Terrible it may be, but still, at least it draws me closer to God even more, going through sufferings like this once in awhile reminds me that i need God's constant strength daily, and allows me to trust my Father in Heaven at a greater level. If things when just too well, somehow i just tend to forget about Him even more often, a very bad habit of mine which i must change, gotta think of HIm 24/7, 24/7....

But as the sun rises, and i woke up today, really must thank God that everything when well, no complications at all for the LP jab and not needing to vomit or anything like that.

Indeed, another beautiful day created by God for me to live once again.

Saturday, January 21, 2006

To start or not to start

Woah, man, did not expect myself to actually have an online journal. Errr, okay, if I am actually gonna start writing then this place will be filled with stuff, but if i get too lazy, then oh well....