Wednesday, March 28, 2007

not so dizzy... yay!

When to the hospital last Monday for my chemotherapy treatment, though I really dread going there nowadays I didn’t thought too much about it then as I assume that the treatment was an easy one. Well that’s because I couldn’t remember what terrible side effect it gave me the last time I had it, in fact I couldn’t even remember I had when through this treatment till I reread my blog as I am typing this ( , read it for treatment details). So, it was only when I reach the hospital where I suddenly had a hunch that this was the one that gave me the headache and dizziness that knock me out for a month. Tried reconfirming with my mom and ask her if it was during the World Cup season last year that I gone through this treatment and became very dizzy, but she said it wasn’t during that time… well she said her own journal didn’t recorded as what I have said and that made me even more confused. But I proof her wrong with my blog buahahaha! Then again, I always write my post late, sometimes even 1 month late from the day of treatment, so I don’t really know either, woops!

Though the dizziness could be countered by just lying flat on the bed, making it not as terrible as feeling nausea, it is terribly boring as I can’t do anything much except sleep (since I am already in bed) or playing the guitar blindly perhaps.

I was even more assured that I was going to get the dizziness when I got home from the hospital on Wednesday and had to sleep earlier than usual because if I don’t I was going to puke from the dizziness. And besides that, I got dizzy just by crossing the sea on ship- only that it’s my Warcraft character that was crossing the sea and not me in real life… talking about game realism.

That’s why I really thank God that even as Sunday came; I didn’t experience the terrible dizziness that made me unable to move and was able to go the church. Phew… thank God for His amazing grace, for not letting me suffer the boredom of not doing anything at home! Truth to be told, I still feel a little dizzy time after time, but that’s pale compared to the one I experienced before, at least this time it doesn’t affect my daily activities much.

Oh, and I realized that the dizziness and headache wasn’t caused by the LP procedure, in which I suspect it was the last time I had it, but by the 45 minutes white chemo-drug called cyclosamidite or something like that, well it sounded like that I guess, too lazy to go check, give me a comment if you really want to know. Easy to know as this dizziness only happens when I have this chemo, and not when I have the LP procedure, this means that I don’t need to be so afraid of the LP procedure anymore and try to lie down on the bed as long as possible in order to avoid this side-effect, phew.

I also realized that I don’t understand what my doctor wants. Well, he said that he’s going to knock me out completely with general anesthetic while he was going to do a prick to check my bone marrow, and he kept telling the nurse to make sure that this time I was completely out before he does it, as last time he didn’t do it. Well, I could feel the anesthetic drug going in, but I realized I still wasn’t completely sleeping yet, could hear voices from the doctor and see the nurse still standing beside and some student nurses trying to learn the procedure. The doctor was like: “Harh? Still not sleeping yet ah?” I thought he was going to give me another dosage of anesthetic, but I realized that he already prick me and close the wound with the bandage. I was like: “What the…” I was semi-awake then, and it was only during the LP procedure when the other doctor asked me if the procedure was painful or not, in which I replied yeah, and he said: “I thought last time you said not painful”… and after that I kind of knock out. Then again, no complaints as I couldn’t feel the pain already then and the main doctor said that this time the prick isn’t as painful like last time because he doesn’t need to go through the bone again or something like that (forgive me, was between sleeping and being awake then). It’s really weird… I can remember I was replying to the doctors, but I just simply can’t remember completely what I replied to them. The way I reply them was like how anyone would do it when they want to sleep longer while their mom is nagging them to wake up:

Mom: Boy ah, wake up!

Son: ughh….

Mom: What you want to eat for breakfast? Hot milo and half-boiled eggs?

Son: ….. give me half-boiled milo and hot eggs lah…

Mom: Harh?!!!

Son: aiyoh… the usual lah… ZZzzzzZZZ…

Yeah something like that.

This may sound weird though, but somehow I am starting to love general anesthetic. Not loving it as the kind that makes you go: “Woah, I am seeing colors… stars… am I in heaven?!!” but loving it because it really helps to pass the time while I am in the hospital. Yeah, the thought of having to drip the chemo for 24 hours is terrible and as the time passes I slowly feel like vomiting… ughhh, and having the anesthetic cuts the time like by 6-8 hours since I get knocked out. And as I am doing the LP procedure I don’t need to feel the pain from the local anesthetic injection which the dentist always say: “it’s only an ant bite” but you know you want to poke him with it to show the dentist how painful it actually is (okay, now I am starting to sound like a spoilt brat, well, the local anesthetic isn’t so painful lah, just exaggerating).

Ah, really thank God that the nausea’s gone as I am writing this and me not having the super dizziness. Really thank God also for protecting me all the way through the treatments, I just have one more chemo-treatment in the hospital and I should be off by then, which is comforting in a way ha-ha.

Then again, I am starting to get reeeaallllly lazy to study or do any work. But it’s still better than going through treatment I guess. =)

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