Tuesday, October 03, 2006


Tomorrow, tomorrow, tomorrow…

And after 30+ tomorrows I finally updated my blog… phew. Guess I am that kind of guy who just loves to leave things until tomorrow, foolishly thinking that there are many tomorrows in the sands of time.

Okay, so I’ll get straight to the point and update everyone on what happened during the past few days, weeks, or erm 1 month.

Well, I had a 8 days chemotherapy (with 3 days break in between) during the month of September, wasn’t anything heavy as the amount of chemo inserted per day was just like a quarter of the normal injection we usually see in the clinic. Though it’s light, somehow I still get pretty nausea after each time they put that small amount of chemo in, and spend the rest of the day sleeping. Hmm, come to think about it, really thank God that at least I can sleep normally despite feeling nausea, otherwise it would be terrible. Then again, most of the time when I sleep I would have weird nightmares, and most of them involves homework and assignments given by teachers in school or college, bah~ No idea how am I going to go back to study life again.

I also had a lamba puncture during this course of chemo. Thank God again that all went well with no side effects this time. Not sure if I mentioned this before, but the doctor that does the lamba puncture for me isn’t the same doctor that prescribes my chemo-drug. The main doctor that usually takes care of me is a hematologist, while the one that normally does the lamba puncture is a neurologist. Nevertheless the main reason I mention this up is because this neurologist seems to be really spiritually filled. And I mean really! Every time he comes to check up on me he’ll definitely quote something from the bible and in the hospital he does evangelism almost everyday I guess. And there are sometimes when he ask me questions concerning passages in the bible which I am not so clear or could not remember, which resulted in my not being able to answer him, and he goes “Ju Liang, you better read more of your bible!” Man, damn embarrassing ha-ha (The question he was asking, I think, concern about Balaam and his donkey when the Israelites wanted to go over to the promise land) . And to avoid him lecturing to me about watching too much television or playing too many games on my laptop when he checks up on me (which I don’t, it’s only that somehow when I am playing he always comes to check during that time), I would immediately take up my bible to read or pull up the Purpose Driven Life book in order to make him stop his lecturing. In some ways I always think he should change his profession to become a pastor instead of a doctor, or perhaps use his doctor skills to be a missionary (there was one time after the check up I said: “Thank you, pastor”, woops!). Then again, because of him taking account of me in my faith (since he always ask me how is my walk with the Lord), I could always make sure that I don’t backtrack in my faith in Christ, and humbled myself knowing that even being a Christian for my whole life there are still tons of things in the bible that I have yet to know, therefore, got to read the bible everyday ha-ha. Now I understand the importance of having someone to be accountable for us in our faith in Christ Jesus, whenever someone falls, the other would be able to pick him up, and not fall out in faith. Now I really regret the chance I had during Training Union when we can choose a partner to take account for us, wasn’t serious then, and wasted that opportunity.

During this lamba puncture procedure this doctor also asked me a question: “Do you ever ask God why you have this sickness?” In my mind I was like: “Uh-oh, one wrong answer and I would get a super long lecture from him.” Then again, since I was like lying on the bed feeling all nervous and scared because the procedure was going to start and he was cleaning my back in order to poke the needle in, I couldn’t even think straight, so I just said the truth and answered: “No.” Phew, thank God that that was the right answer ha-ha. Well, he answered: “Good, good, that means you trust that the Lord knows what He’s doing even through suffering.” Thinking about it, I guess I always knew God knows what He’s doing (I mean like, how can God don’t know what He’s doing?), it’s just that sometimes going through what He has in store for us isn’t that easy always, but still, yeah, “Be bold and courageous for the Lord is with you!” Guess I still got to fight on till the very end, knowing that I am not fighting the battle alone, for God is always there watching over me.

Which reminds me, the end line for me has like extended from February to around July (August?) Because by counting the amount of time I needed to complete my first cycle (8 months) times two, it would definitely end around July then. So like yeah, need prayers from you guys to have more spirit to fight on ha-ha.

Okay, so for the month of October the only thing I need to do now is eat chemo-pills, which means don’t need to go to the hospital, yay! But somehow it does make me freaking nausea at times, even when writing this blog post, feel like vomiting time after time ha-ha, nothing too serious though. And when this month end, uh-oh -here comes the pain- a really heavy dosage of chemotherapy will be up next, which would mean that I cannot attend this year’s VBS. Just thinking about the next course makes me go BRRrrrrr… but better stop thinking about that for now, should take things one step at a time or not I will definitely wear out.

That’s why I better make use of the 3-4 weeks break I have now, hope that the chemo-pills wouldn’t give me any side effects so that I could go travel outdoors before I get trapped in the hospital again, ha-ha.

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