Friday, March 24, 2006

In all things, give thanks!

Alrighty, just got back from the doctor today for my check-up, white blood count was okay and my blood pallete has rise to a normal level, problem is with my hemoglobin count, still quite low, so i still get tired quite easily, but other than that, really praise God for the good news. Oh yeah, got to go back to the hospital next friday for another bone marrow test and LP procedure, but still, thank God that those only takes a day to complete and a few hours rest will allow me to go home, keke.

Hmmm, another thing to thank God for is that i manage to survive the previous treatment. That one really was terrible, first it was the ulcers at my tongue that hurt so bad i couldn't sleep well and eat, then later it was the fever that cause me mentally and physically so tired as every night i have all these weird dreams (most of the time what i watch on TV that day i will dream of it the whole night, once i dreamt about me being some lorry driver, and i was like thinking how come i need to work even though i am in the hospital, haha) and my body becomes either too hot or shiver violently, causing me to stress out completely. And when all those became well after my white blood cell came back to normal, the infection around my anus starts to hurt so bad that i couldn't sleep as well and move about properly. That whole thing may be only a week plus plus, but it was so stressful i could say, that i was thinking about sucide on some of the nights when i was having fever (was like having thoughts of jumping of the building or perhaps having some kind of injection that would let me sleep forever). I really thank God that only through His strength and the hope in Jesus Christ that i was able to survive that period of time when i didn't have any white cells and the body was surviving from all those infections through antibiotics.

Suffering it may be, but yeapz, just as the bible says, through trials and perservering through them could i only grow much much stronger in the Lord, depending on Him with everything i got, and knowing that it is only by grace that i survive each day. When i am healthy and strong, i always tend to forget how much i need Him. But when we are weak, we know that we as human beings can't do anything anymore and we put all our hope and trust in the Lord, as only our Heavenly Father has the power to deliver us from all these pain and sufferings, for He's the Lord of all.

Then again, as now i am at home, and able to do most of the things normally again (except the fact that i get tired really easily, keke), i really got to praise the Lord for His mercy, grace and love that He showered upon me. Really really glad that i am able to stay at home and not in the hospital, as i would really become crazy then, haha, the stress was horrible i must say, but i am glad it was over. Hmm, on second thought gonna have another of this heavy chemotheraphy dose at week 33, but why worry now? Ha-ha. Rejoice in the Lord!

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