Dizzy... dizzy...

Woah kay...

Was admitted to the hospital on the 5th of June, which was a Monday. Had 2 treatments of chemotherapy, one of them lasted 24 hours, while the other took around 45 minutes. This time the strong chemo-drug was in white color though, in addition to the red, blue and yellow ones I had, whoopee, more too my collection!

On the 6th of June I had my LP procedure; really don’t like this as I can’t move for around 5-6 hours after the procedure mainly because it will cause a massive headache and I need to lie down to pressurize the wound at my back. Arghh, really don’t like the fact that I don’t have the freedom of movement.

But really thank God that this treatment only last for like erm, two days? As on the 7th of June, which was a Wednesday, the doctor said that I could go home if I ‘felt’ okay. Well, I guess even if I did felt ‘not so okay’ then I would lie to him for I really can’t stand staying in the hospital somehow, it could actually make a healthy people feel sick just being in it, or maybe that’s because I stayed in there for too long of a time ha-ha, or perhaps because of the phobia I have with hospital food… ughh. Wednesday went rather well, I was still feeling fine, was able to play few matches of DoTa and had a rather ‘productive’ chat with Teacher Derek and Daniel Mok after the Young Adults fellowship at night.

The nightmare came on the next day. The last few things I can remember before having the massive headache was waking up around eleven something that day, had a bowl of mee soup for lunch and a lime ice-cream. Then I walked to my room to play another game of DoTa when suddenly I don’t feel so ‘okay’ like I think I would be. I was feeling nausea all a sudden and dizziness start creeping in. First I thought it would only last a moment, perhaps because I ate too much that’s why I vomited? So I went to throw out everything only to find out the headache was still there. Guess the only thing I could do was go to sleep then and lie down, as the dizziness became way too serious.

So, then I thought this weird headache would recover the next day. But it lasted like until now. Really thank God that the headache got very much better after a week since that day. Naturally at the beginning I was kind of afraid, having such a massive headache and all, so I check my handy book of “Childhood leukemia” and check on the chemo-drug that was done during the LP procedure. Viola, the chemo-drug that was injected through the spine (which was different from the 24 hours and 45 minutes chemo-drug) had a side effect of causing headaches, as the drug somehow messes with the cerebrospinal fluid which is found in the brain and spinal cord.

Because of this headache, basically I only have a time span of around 30 minutes to 2 hours of standing up or sitting down, and after that I got to rest lying down as the headache gets too severe and my neck aches like crazy. After around 3 hours plus of rest then I could last for another period of time again before I got to withdraw to the comfort of my bed. So basically whenever I could be able to move around would be the time for me to eat my breakfast, lunch and dinner, and perhaps half a match of the world cup ha-ha. And the rest of the time I would be lying on the bed. Funny thing is that I could last longer moving out of my bed at night compared to during the day, maybe it’s because there’s this other side effect which gives me extreme sun sensitivity, no idea what that means though haha.

Hmmm, well maybe I should make it clearer. The headache is more of dizziness than pain. Just imagine yourself circling for like 20 circles and you’ll get that feeling (Man, makes me remember of those spinning cups in theme parks which makes me go, ughh). If only I could immediately dose of when I lie down in bed because of the headache, that would be excellent. But as I was dizzy and not tired or sleepy, I basically just lie down with my mind still being active, which can be troublesome at times as I got really bored then. And since I have this “TAK NAK” policy to books, the only alternative was playing the guitar while lying on the bed. Ha-ha, at least that wouldn’t make my guitar rust and rot at a corner. And when I actually did manage to sleep I would have these weird dreams out of no where. One was being back to school and the first thing the teacher asked was to hand up out assignments. Not another this type of dream I thought, if it wasn’t about school then it would be about handing up tuition homework , which somehow I always didn’t do in the dream. Man, makes me wonder how am I going to adjust to school life after the whole treatment, ha-ha. And there was this other dream where I was dreaming of movie trailers. The weird thing is that non off the movies trailers that I dreamt of actually exist in present time, is a ‘campur’ of every movie I can remember, and somehow it does end up to be a perfect trailer, I think ha-ha. When I woke up after that dream I was like: “Man, that’s full of crap!” As it really was lame and funny somehow.

Had a check up with my doctor the next Monday after that treatment, and he said that I was perfectly fine. His reason was that the chemotherapy through the spinal cord has upset the equilibrium of the cerebrospinal fluid and cause the headache. And since he was going to Amsterdam for some medical meeting or something like that he told me that if the headache did not get better I need readmit to the hospital on Wednesday morning to check up with him, just before he leaves to Amsterdam at night. Well, even if I wasn’t feeling that well I guess I wouldn’t want to go and get readmitted either, NO WAY MAN!!!!

Well, thank God again that it did got much better by Wednesday, could stay out of bed for longer periods of time and was improving by each day. I am still having the headaches and backbone aches as of now, only thing is that the headache only starts to react if I change position, which means from sitting to standing to lying down, I would have the headache for a minute or two and then it will settle down and I would feel just like normal, which was much better considering the fact that I was having a non-stop headache just a week ago.

Still, all in all, thank God that I did not need to get readmitted for that will be a total nightmare, worst than the one where I go back to school, blek. And a very big thanks to everyone that prayed for me constantly, keke. Well, I guess suffering hard once in a while would allow a person to go back to the right track, as it reminds us to trust in the Lord always and know that God’s plan is always the perfect plan.